Marriage Retreat 2024 |Lifelong Love
Saturday Morning |Session #2  |  The Ingredients For Lifelong Love

Lifelong Love – One man, one woman, one life time

Ice Cream or Gelato?    There are key ingredients that make Lifelong Love sweet.

Biblical Models of Marriage:  Lamech or Priscilla & Aquila

The Ingredients For Lifelong Love:

Honor God  = Security & Stability 

In Genesis, God, our Creator, sets up a plan for healthy rhythms & healthy relational boundaries.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them…. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.  

so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, 

because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.  

…The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said,  “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’  for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.  

Genesis 1:27, 31 and Genesis 2:1-3, 18, 22-24

Commitment  = Intimacy 

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife,  and the two shall become one flesh’? 

So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”  

Matthew 19:4–6

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  

Ephesians. 4:1

Consumer 

“If you give me what I want, then I will give you what you want.”

Or

Covenant

“I’m committed to God and you forever – we are one – loving you is loving me.”

Constraint 

“I’m stuck with you because …. I have to be with you.”

Or 

Dedication 

“I’m all in. I will put my energy, love, time & resources into us. I want to be with you.”

Generous Agape Love for One Another = Forgiveness, Grit & Character, Power

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, 

just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” 

Ephesians 5:1-2

Be committed to seeing Jesus formed in you and your spouse. Forgive one another. Lay down your rights!

Honeymoon, Wilderness, Everlasting Love 

Martial satisfaction is higher in the everlasting love season than in honeymoon.  

Agape love necessary to get to everlasting love!

Exclusive, Transparent, Curious, Thoughtful, Appreciative Intimacy  = Passion

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, 

or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people… 

Therefore do not be partners with them…. Instead, be filled with the Spirit… speaking to one another ..from the Spirit. from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, 

in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Ephesians 5:3-20

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

 Matthew 6:21

Obligation 

Escape                   Resentment 

Entitlement 

What do you feel entitled to?

Communicate needs and wants.

What do you treasure?

“Emotional state, energy level and relational closeness predictors of desire in both men and women.”  

– Givon & Rubinstein Currently Psychology Journal 2023

How am I inviting my spouse to enjoy the very good part (TOV) of our marriage? 

Submitted Hearts to God and One Another = Trust

Submission –  heart inclined towards the person’s best, being agreeable, affirming and willing to follow

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians 5:21

Our goal is to honor one another and God.

Peter and John faced down the Jewish authorities in Acts 4:19,

“Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge.

As for us we can not help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

Sacrificial Leadership & Grateful Support = Friendship & Teamwork 

“Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.  So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.    Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.  And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.   They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”  

Ephesians 5:22-28   (The Message)

Order is not value. 

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”

Galatians 3:28-29

Leaders delegate based on strengths.

In a partnership, we often take turns leading and supporting based on strengths.

The headship of Christ & Church and the church does not exclude but benefits a partnership. 

1-10 “How important is this to you?”   

Our Goal – collaboration to live out our individual and family calling to share God’s love, grace and truth.  

Gratefulness and Awe for God’s Gift = Becoming One             

 “No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”

Ephesians 5:29-33 (The Message)

Our goal is order and harmony and pursuit of mission – spreading the gospel.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”

Colossians 3:15

Mission Bigger Than Marriage = Legacy 

“No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.”

1 John 4:12

Great Commission 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…”   

Matthew 28:18-20

Great Commandment

“Love the lord you God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love others as yourselves…”

Matthew 22:36-40

Priscilla and Aquila:

• • The couple is mentioned by name six times in the New Testament, always together.

(Acts 18:2-3, Acts 18-19, Acts 26; Rom 16:3-5; 1 Cor. 16:19; 2Tim 4:19)

• • Paul calls them his “coworkers” in preaching the gospel.
  • Paul praises their willingness to risk their lives for him and the gospel.

Table Discussion:

1.   What is the one thing that stood out from this teaching that you want to remember?

2. Which ingredient do you think is essential to build love,  joy and friendship in a marriage?

3. What we want becomes illusive when ….

4. What are your thoughts on consumer vs. covenant commitment?

What are your thoughts on  dedication vs. constraint commitment?

5. Have you thought about the legacy you are building as a couple with kids and beyond kids? 

Marriage Retreat 2024 |Lifelong Love
Sunday Morning | Spiritual Principles that Protect Your Marriage

Lifelong Love – In Marriage

Displays God’s Love and Faithfulness to the World

Marriage is God’s favorite illustration to showcase the Gospel and His love for humanity.

The more we discover what a healthy relationship is the more we understand His love for us.

“What has most impacted my marriage is holding onto three spiritual principles. 

How I look at marriage has transformed how I act in marriage and 

greatly increased my satisfaction in marriage.”

– Gary Thomas

Seek First God’s Kingdom and His Righteousness

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  

Matthew 6:33

You are made for more than each other.  

What is your purpose? The enemy will be after your purpose, because He is after your marriage.

“If I find myself with a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, 

then the probable conclusion is I’m made for another world.”  

-C.S. Lewis

When Jesus says to, ‘Seek first His righteousness…’ 

This will lead me to die to all the things that make me miserable in marriage: Impatience, Unkindness, and Anger.

So I can Grow in: Patience, Kindness and Self Control

Imagine how a marriage can improve if we pour in the ‘Jesus like’ qualities.

When I ‘Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness’, I will fail at times and need grace, which looks like:

Seek – Fail – Repent – Receive and Abide – Seek – Grow – Love= Soft Heart

Not ‘Seeking first His Kingdom and His Righteousness’ looks like:

Seek – Fail – Blame – Withdraw = Hard Heart 

“Don’t worry about falling out of love. Worry about falling out of purpose. 

And worry about falling out of repentance.” 

– Gary Thomas 

Jesus already filled your greatest need to be loved.  

In marriage, your greatest need is to learn to love. 

“Above all else cloth yourselves in love.”  

Colossians 3:14

“Above all maintain constant love for one another because love covers a multitude of sin.”

1 Peter 4:8

“A new commandment I give to you to love one another; as I have loved you, you also must love one another. 

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35

Commandment not a Suggestion.

Jesus plan to reach the world is to build a community that loves. 

This is plan A on how the gospel will spread through the world not plan B.

Satan knows if we do this, he loses His power in our lives and our family’s lives.

If marriage is the place I become more like Jesus, the challenges and irritations become opportunities 

to grow in my ability to love.

What will you put in the gap between reality and expectations? Anger and blame or grace and love?

RealityExpectations  

Marriage is Worship.  

Meditate on God being as your Father-In-Law.

Somethings we are called to protect.

We are to treat our spouse as a child of God.

How do I want my boys to be loved by my daughters-in-law? That is how I am to love.

How do you want your daughters to be loved by your son-in-laws?

Meditate on God has your Heavenly Father-in-Law.

“Behold how great a love the Father has lavished on us that we would be called His children.”

1 John 3:1

Agape love is a godly love that is not about loving each other because we are lovable or because our spouse loves us; but simply because we are all God’s children.

These are the truths that will help you to get to lifelong love.

We love because He first loved us. 

In order to have a life long love we will need to be with Jesus and be filled up with His Love and Truth, 

then we will become like Jesus.

Click here to watch our Sermon Recap!

On this episode of I’m Glad I Heard That, Autumn Casiglia is joined by Emily Kot to talk about the difficulties women and couples face when struggling with infertility.

Emily shares her and her husband’s stories of infertility and how her faith was the most important thing for her, despite often feeling like her prayers weren’t being heard.

If you prefer an audio version of our podcast, see the links below to subscribe!

I’m Glad I Heard That on Apple Podcasts

I’m Glad I Heard That on Spotify

On this episode of I’m Glad I Heard That, Harry Krupsky joins Autumn Casiglia to talk about the wisdom that he has learned over each season of life.

Harry shares stories and things that he has learned as a husband, as a dad, a grandpa, and in his years of ministering to families here at Faith!

If you don’t know Harry, Harry is an amazing man of God who our church has been blessed to have serve as our Director of Family Life for many years.

I’m Glad I Heard That on Apple Podcasts

I’m Glad I Heard That on Spotify

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

In this episode of The Gather Podcast, Autumn and Melissa talk about one of the hardest moments that Melissa faced during this past year, a miscarriage.

For many women, miscarriage feels like something they are supposed to keep secret, but why? When Melissa had her miscarriage, she was listening to this podcast and spending a lot of time in prayer.

During her listening prayer, she felt God speaking to her and felt called to share her story in hopes that it helps other women who may be going through a similar thing.

If this topic is triggering for you, feel free to skip this one. If anything comes up while watching that leaves you struggling to process, let us know and we’ll be glad to walk with you throughout your grief.

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast is a podcast and ministry of Faith Troy. It is our hope that you will feel God’s presence as you listen. We want to continue to stay connected to one another and Him through this season of change. Share this with a friend that needs to hear about God’s justice and mercy.

In this episode, Deb Ellinger founder of Elli’s house and Elementary Large Group Director at Faith shares her passion for abolishing sex trafficking in the city of Detroit, her wisdom for moms and dads, and her heart for the kids she ministers to at Faith.

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

The Gather Podcast is our new YouTube Series/Podcast for women.

We’ve always felt so much joy and encouragement when we’ve gathered together to have conversations about life and God.

In this first episode, we have on Rachel Joy Brown to talk about her story of being a single mom of a preschooler, starting her fitness/health coaching business, and following Jesus through life’s U-turns.

The Gather Podcast on iTunes

The Gather Podcast on Spotify 

Read: Ephesians 3:14-21, Ephesians 5:1-21, Galatians 5:22-26

What does Paul pray for the Ephesians? How does this relate to what we want for our children and the people we love?

What do you think it means to be established in and rooted in Jesus’ love?

What does it mean to be filled to the fullness of God?

Why is it easy to slip back into a transactional way of relating?

When you are under stress do you tend to react with shame, blame, control or escape?
How can being established in Jesus’ love help to respond with love, forgiveness, healthy boundaries/connection & transparency?

What does it look like to receive from God what he has for us and then give it to others?

How do you bless the people in your life and how might you use scripture in the future to do so?